Brit Award Nominations Revealed; World Yawns

by MV

The Best of British

OK let’s kick this thing off with a great big BLAH. Yes, the Brits are necessarily a big old corporate shambles. Yes, we know what they’re for. Annie Lennox. Nothing new. BLAH.

But, come on, wouldn’t it be nice if they weren’t so predictably rubbish every year?

Elements of this year’s list are Not Awful compared to some recent years, but mostly it’s just all so DULL. Is that because music is dull at the moment – if so I hadn’t noticed – or that the charts are (perhaps)>?

Anyway.

BRITISH MALE
Crappest nomination: Robert Plant (sorry to any Dads reading)
Surprise nomination: None
Yawn: Paul WellAH, Mark Ronson
SHOULD win: Tinie TempAH.
Will win: Plan B :(

BRITISH FEMALE
Crappest nomination: Rumer
Surprise nomination: Laura Marling
Yawn: Cheryl Cole, Paloma Faith, Ellie Goulding
SHOULD win: ?!? Marling is the least yawn.
Will win: Ellie Goulding

BRITISH BREAKTHRU”’
Crappest nomination: Mumford & Sons (runner up: Rumer)
Surprise nomination: None
Yawn: Ellie Goulding
SHOULD win: Tinie Tempah or The XX
Will win: Mumford & Sons :(

BRITISH GROUP
Crappest nomination: Mumford & Sons
Surprise nomination: None.
Yawn: Biffy Clyro, The XX
SHOULD win: Gorillaz
Will win: Probably Take That, but that’s OK

BRITISH SINGLE
Crappest nomination: Olly Murs v Scouting For Girls
Surprise nomination: None, this is alway inexplicable
Yawn: All of it, especially Florence and Plan B
SHOULD win: PASS OUT
Will win: Something godawful like Florence or Plan B

BEST BRITISH ALBUM SUPPORTED BY MASTERCARD
Crappest Nomination: Mumford
Surprise nomination: Emphatically none
Yawn: Plan B, Take That
SHOULD win: The XX (or Tinie Tempah)
Will win: Plan B or Mumford

INTERNATIONAL MALE
Crappest nomination: Bruce Springsteen in 2011 (not that I have anything against The Boss in general, mind)
Surprise nomination: Not sure Guetta counts given his omnipresence
Yawn: Cee Lo Green, Eminem
SHOULD win: KANYE
Will win: I have literally no idea

INTERNATIONAL FEMALE
This category is actually really good, but in fairness it would be really, really hard to fcuk this up
Crappest nomination: None!
Surprise nomination: ROBYN :)
Yawn: Kylie in 2011 perhaps? Alicia Keys now and then
SHOULD win: A MILLION TIMES ROBYN
WILL win: Rihanna, which will suffice I suppose

INTERNATIONAL BREAKTHRU”’
Crappest nomination: Bruno Mars
Surprise nomination: Glee Cast. WTF?
Yawn: The National, The Temper Trap
SHOULD win: None of them
WILL win: Justin Bieber

INTERNATIONAL GROUP
Crappest nomination: The effing Script
Surprise nomination: None
Yawn: Kings of Lyawn, Vampire Weekend, Arcade Fire
SHOULD win: Oh I don’t know, Black Eyed Peas?
WILL win: Arcade Fire

INTERNATIONAL ALBUM
Crappest nomination: Kings of Lyawn
Surprise nomination: Katy Perry
Yawn: Arcade Fire, Eminem
SHOULD win: Oh I dunno, is Cee Lo’s album any good beyond the single?
Will win: Arcade Fire

I’m skipping over Critic’s choice. We’ve all had that conversation.

BRITISH PRODUCER
Crappest nomination: I had to look him up, but “Ethan Johns” does not sound like My Kind Of Guy
Surprise nomination: Mike Pela (Sade I think)
Yawn: John Leckie, “Markus Dravs” (Arcade Fire)
SHOULD win: Stuart Price!
Will win: Oh I dunno.

The only bet I’d place on the back of this is that all my predicted winners will be wrong. Occasionally something even worse will happen, but mostly we’ll just go ‘meh’ and continue throwing things at James Corden’s face.

Hopefully Robyn will sing, then everything will be OK.

AM I WRONG?

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